Santa Barbara: Part 1 Aging, Sickness and Death

Death is nearby.

Many of us recently walked through the sudden and yet gradual passing away of Dr. Bob Wennberg, a mentor who had helped shape my relationship with God over the last 15 years. His tools were unparalleled humor, a sophisticated and yet accessible knowledge of philosophy, and buckets of unconditional love. When we learned he had pancreatic cancer, one professor made a Facebook page where we gathered to publicly name how he had molded our lives. In his final weeks, reading these student testimonials was one of his main sources of encouragement--we wrote about the profound impact his life work had made on us.

As I followed the page, and listened to his close friends talk about his final weeks, the image that constantly came to mind, was "an entire life well-lived." He modeled wisdom, integrity and commitment for at least the 15 years I had known him.

He had time to plan his funeral and to ask a few of his life long kindred spirits to speak at it--can you imagine? I had the privilege of having lunch with one of his closest friends a few days before she flew out to have, what she anticipated, might be one of their last face-to-face conversations.

Sitting at the Baltimore airport, she shared with me a few of the Bonhoeffer quotes she planed to reflect on with him the following day. I first met him when they team taught me World Civilization in 1994. The gripping moral dilemmas of Shusako Endo's "Silence" still come to mind today.

Recently, Dr. Wennberg and I had been exchanging emails about speaking at our upcoming 15 year class reunion. I had envisioned he and Dr. Shirley Mullen facilitating a discussion of the commitments we had all made on our senior retreat before graduation. I had hoped our class could read his recently published book on a theology of doubt. A devotional book filled with profound, loving, spiritually awakened ideas about what it means to live inside of Christianity with a faith marked by doubt. A book that speaks to my journey.

Looking at his picture it is nearly impossible to believe he is gone. And yet, I'm moved by what a gift it was to all of the people who loved him, to have a few passing moments, to meaningfully say goodbye to this man who modeled the well lived life. Not all of us, are offered this moment, before death comes so close.



To read his book:

http://books.google.com.co/books?id=X9VCB9u-izoC&printsec=frontcover&dq=bob+wennberg&source=bl&ots=LPDWIjON3M&sig=QuFSv0EKsE5Ou3U-7LT7doq8x1A&hl=es&ei=z6lkTN-AGoKB8gaIvLyACQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=18&ved=0CHIQ6AEwEQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

To read an obituary written by Dr. Bob Gundry

http://www.independent.com/news/2010/aug/04/bob-wennberg-1935-2010/

(The title for this three part series comes from my main spiritual teacher this year Tara Brach, based in DC. She combines her years of training as a clinical psychologist, with the insights learned by living for 11 years in a yoga community with the principle of classical Buddhism. One of her main teachings is on the inevitability of ageing, sickness and death.)

"Pain is inevitable, and suffering optional."

These is a challenging idea to apply when death sits here, in our midst.